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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - A Joke

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Hovertext: 'For a variety of reasons' is a great response to any joke that starts with a question.


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mkalus
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Best of the Worst: Pocket Ninjas, Cyclone, and Dangerous Men

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From: RedLetterMedia
Duration: 1:18:32

DANGEROUS MEN BLU-RAY: http://amzn.to/1PAguX2

Put on your sweatpants and prepare a pot of coffee because this is gonna be a long night! The gang watches two of the most baffling, nonsensical movies they've ever watched with Pocket Ninjas and Dangerous Men. Cyclone's in there too.

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mkalus
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Brexit EU referendum: Political, economic, social analysis and what's next

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falloutlandscape Fallout the computer game

Britain has officially voted to tear itself away from the European Union.

Markets are in crisis mode after the revelation that the UK is a broken nation. And the worst is yet to come.

Global stocks are plunging, the pound is getting annihilated, and bank and company CEOs are doing their best not to freak out.

Markets hate uncertainty, and while everywhere from the Bank of England to publicly traded banks had "contingency plans" in case of a British exit from the EU, or Brexit, it seemed that most observers were expecting Brits to choose Remain.

But it is not just the immediate market fallout that Britain has to worry about - it is the future of our sociopolitical landscape. Britain is divided, and the political contagion to follow not only threatens to wreck the European Union as a whole - it could spread across the globe.

First, let's look at how bad the markets will get

Bank of England Governor Mark Carney said the central bank was "ready to provide" more than £250 billion, or $344 billion, of "additional capital to its normal operations." Essentially the BOE is ready to prop up the UK's financial system to protect it from the direct impacts of the Brexit.

The central bank wanted to calm the markets. Just look at the pound: At one point it was hitting a 30-year low and was trading worse than on "Black Wednesday." Though it has slightly recovered, it is still down by 8%:

poundvolatility1 <a href="http://Investing.com" rel="nofollow">Investing.com</a>

At the same time, European stocks are falling off a cliff; it is no wonder the central bank is trying to calm everyone down and say it will be prepared to step in:

euromarketseuref Google Finance

The forecasts were unanimous: Brexit would wreck the economy, according to the UK Treasury, the International Monetary Fund, the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development, several independent research houses, and the banks.

S&P, the ratings agency, previously warned that a Brexit would hurt the economy and said a Brexit would threaten Britain's AAA rating. The lower the rating, the more expensive it is for the country to borrow money.

The Leave campaign dismissed those forecasts as being part of what it called "Project Fear," which it said was designed to scare people into sticking with the status quo. Usually that works. British referendums in years gone by pretty much always moved toward the status quo option with just days left until voting day.

But not this time, and this is why the results of this referendum highlight just how fractured Britain is.

Underneath the market chaos, we have a shattered sociopolitical landscape

As well as having a prolonged period of market chaos - most banks say the most seismic shifts will happen within six months - Britain can also look forward to an incredibly divided nation.

The results showed some glaring problems. If, say, 70% of the nation voted one way and 30% voted the other way, it would be a true, solid majority vote.

In this referendum, however, the results were startling - Britain is split right down the middle:

  • Leave: 51.9% with 17,410,742 votes.
  • Remain: 48.1% with 16,141,241 votes.

The turnout was 72.2% out of 46,499,537 people who were entitled to take part in the vote. This is a record number for a UK poll.

Perhaps most worryingly is the north-south divide. This is what the BBC has on its referendum results page:

UK map divide BBC News

A note out Friday by Peter Oppenheimer and his team at Goldman Sachs said: "The domestic political fallout in the UK is likely to be significant. The strength, composition and leadership of the government are likely to be uncertain, at least initially. Such political uncertainties may further complicate how a definitive referendum outcome is translated into a formal procedure."

UK Prime Minister David Cameron has resigned, and his replacement will be selected in an unusual way.

For the first time, Britain's prime minister will not be chosen by a general election, or by MPs, but by party activists - as the New Statesman reported back in February.

cameronresigns1 Sky News

The new prime minister will be chosen by a Conservative Party leadership election. This election will have two parts:

  • First, Conservative MPs elect two candidates.
  • After these two candidates have been chosen, a postal ballot will be sent out to all Conservative Party members on a "one member, one vote" basis.

The winner of this vote will be the next prime minister. That means 149,800 Tory activists (according to the latest House of Commons Library data) - about 0.2% of the UK population - will choose the next leader of the UK.

This will surely bring about Scotland's plight for independence in another referendum. The most recent Scottish referendum, in 2014, was a close call - 55% voted against breaking away from the UK while 45% voted for independence.

This week Scotland overwhelmingly voted against a Brexit - 62% voting for Remain compared with 38% who voted for Leave - but the country is being forcibly dragged out of the EU because the UK as a whole voted to leave.

Try telling Scottish voters that the country will be ruled by a party and a prime minister they voted overwhelmingly against. It is no surprise that Scottish National Party leader Nicola Sturgeon said the SNP would "begin to prepare the legislation to allow a new referendum to take place" before the UK leaves the European Union.

And what follows? More uncertainty, more political, economic, and legal upheaval, and therefore more financial devastation.

Britain's main opposition party, Labour, is having another crisis in its leadership. Its leader Jeremy Corbyn, who was elected only last year in a landslide victory, is encountering a coup.

Labour MPs Margaret Hodge and Ann Coffey have submitted a motion of no confidence in Corbyn, in a letter sent to John Cryer, chairman of the Parliamentary Labour Party. It will result in a discussion about Corbyn's leadership at the next PLP meeting on Monday. Fifty-five Labour MPs are expected to call for the left-wing leader to quit in the letter, according to PoliticsHome.

Britain's political makeup is at a breaking point.

The Brexit contagion

The political chaos does not stop with Britain. The contagion the EU faces from the British vote for a Brexit could rip apart the 28-nation bloc.

In May, Greg Case and Jackie Ineke at Morgan Stanley put together an intricate table titled "EU Exit Scorecard: Where Might Exit Pressure Emerge Next?" It was designed to show, in order, the countries most likely to pip for an exit from the EU:

exitscorecard Morgan Stanley

It was not the first time Morgan Stanley had warned of a "Brexit contagion."

In May, Simon Wells and his team at HSBC also released a report saying that while "a UK vote to leave the EU could dampen European economic activity," the real political threat came from "referendum contagion" spreading further across Europe, handing more power to extreme-right, nationalist, and Eurosceptic parties.

Also this week, HSBC warned again that "Eurosceptic opposition parties may become more vocal about the example set by the UK."

"In the UK referendum, the key arguments for the Leave campaign essentially boil down to questions over migration and sovereignty, which are concerns for much of the EU electorate," added chief European economist Karen Ward and chief global economist Janet Henry from HSBC.

So what's next?

So first of all, expect market turmoil to happen for some time. This is mainly because there is uncertainty over what will happen with the UK's Brexit transition. Oppenheimer and his team at Goldman Sachs said:

"Article 50 of the EU Treaties gives the legal framework for withdrawal. And the EU Treaties provide for a 2-year process of withdrawal once Article 50 is activated. But several uncertainties still apply and these are likely to be exacerbated by political upheaval.

"Article 50 sets no timeframe for when the PM needs to notify the European Council of the planned withdrawal - at which point Article 50 would be activated. This is important because (a) notification determines when the 2-year window on withdrawal starts and (b) parts of the Leave campaign wishing to retain access to the Single Market may want to use this procedural uncertainty to extract further concessions from the rest of Europe.

"In our view, the rest of the EU is unlikely to allow the UK to extract concessions from a further renegotiation by exploiting these uncertainties. The domestic political fallout in the UK is likely to be significant. The strength, composition and leadership of the government are likely to be uncertain, at least initially. Such political uncertainties may further complicate how a definitive referendum outcome is translated into a formal procedure."

The referendum itself was advisory, rather than legally binding. Cameron had indicated before the referendum that he would respond to a Leave decision by beginning the legal process of withdrawal.

But above all, it looks as if Britain will be battling to keep itself together, let alone remove itself from the EU and the wave of political fallout could cause huge ramification across the union, the continent, and later the globe.

After all, look at what just dropped into my inbox while I was writing this article:

trumpemail Business Insider/Lianna Brinded

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mkalus
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Mix: Kraak & Stöher @ Kinkerlitzchen (Meeresrausch – Festival 2016)

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IMG_8951 Kopie

Hier unser Mitschnitt vom Wochenende, Meeresrausch, Kinkerlitzchen. War geil, auch wenn wir ominöse technische Probleme zu bewerkstelligen hatten, weshalb hier bei 18:40 ein unschöner Cut drin ist, der einen etwas runterzieht. Sorry for that. Danach gehts aber wieder weiter im Flow. Vorneweg ein bisschen kunterbunt, hinten raus mit dem Sonnenaufgang dann etwas entspannter und homogener. Geil war’s wieder.


(Direktlink)

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Something of Interest — scatterdarknessscattersilence: killerville: ...

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scatterdarknessscattersilence:

killerville:

korrasforevergirl:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

airl0ck:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

scottbaiowulf:

broke-and-eating-well-in-okc:

hojolove:

Proof you can market anything as a “Superfood” if it says Organic, Raw and Gluten-free.

THERE’S A FREAK’N WARNING ON THE BACK THAT IF EATEN IN EXCESS THEY CAUSE SYMPTOMS OF CYANIDE POISONING!

Their suggestion to eating these is to methodically poison yourself by eating 2-4 every other day. Since when has eating Apricot kernels been a thing in anyone’s diet!?

these can be found at Wholefoods

WHAT.

Jesus Christ, how is this legal

What in the HELLS O.O

Mmm, delicious poison.

Please do not eat the Healthy Poison O.O

Someone could fucking kill someone with these if they poured them in a ziploc bag and called them peanuts

QUESTION: if i eat enough of these, can i build up a tolerance to cyanide poisoning

This is apparently a real thing. More info from Wikipedia.

Alright, folks, time to get Science Side of Tumblr on this. There is SO MUCH BULLSHIT packed into this that I ended up writing an obnoxiously long post, for which I apologize.

Let’s start with the product description page that Nora helpfully linked to. There’s just a ton of bullshit pseudoscience and feel-good woo in here and I’m gonna break it down.

“Apricot Kernels are one of the highest natural sources of a rare phytonutrient called amygdalin, also known as vitamin B17, an important nutrient which has largely disappeared from Western diets.”

Wow. Lots of fail in one sentence. Amygdalin is not, in fact, particularly rare; as the wiki page states, it’s found in “many plants” “particularly the Prunus genus, Poaceae (grasses), Fabaceae (legumes), and in other food plants, including linseed and manioc.” The only people who refer to amygdalin as a vitamin are those trying to make money from it. It is absolutely NOT a vitamin in any way, shape, or form. The definition of the word “vitamin” is “a compound which is required by the body in small amounts, which it cannot make on its own and thus must be obtained from the diet.” Your body does not *require* amygdalin in the least. In fact, if you consume too much of it, you will LITERALLY DIE OF CYANIDE POISONING. It is NOT an “important nutrient.” It has not “disappeared from Western diets” because it was never a part of any culture’s diet. Any group of people who ate too much of it probably died.

Moving on:

“Our raw, certified organic apricot kernels originate from wild apricot trees that have never come into contact with any sort of pesticide, herbicide or synthetic fertilizer. The apricots are harvested gently by hand, then the kernels are removed and slowly sun-dried. Our farmers pride themselves on cultivating the highest quality kernels possible while maintaining eco-friendly and sustainable agricultural practices.”

Wait, there’s a contradiction in there.

“…originate from wild apricot trees…”
“…farmers pride themselves on cultivating…”

Listen, I don’t wanna be a pedantic asshole and debate semantics here, but if farmers are cultivating something, then it’s not wild. Okay? You can certainly have a bunch of people going out into a forest and harvesting things from the wild; for herbs this is called wildcrafting and for fruits/vegetables it is generally called foraging. No part of this involves cultivation or farms, which are about as far removed from wild plants as… well, most varieties of fruits and vegetables that we eat today.

Now we get to the hilarious part:

“WARNING: Sweet apricot kernels contain amygdalin (Vitamin B17) which can cause symptoms of cyanide poisoning when eaten in excess. DO NOT EAT MORE THAN 8 SEEDS PER DAY. See a doctor immediately if you experience symptoms like nausea, fever, headache, or low blood pressure. Do not eat if you are pregnant or nursing. Not intended for children”

THEY LITERALLY FUCKING TELL YOU THAT THESE CAUSE CYANIDE POISONING. Oh wait, no, my mistake, they tell you that they cause “symptoms of cyanide poisoning.” Well, you know what else causes “symptoms” of cyanide poisoning? CYANIDE. If you read the wiki article on amygdalin, you may have noticed this part:

“Amygdalin is hydrolyzed by intestinal β-glucosidase, emulsin, and amygdalase to gentiobiose and L-mandelonitrile. Gentiobiose is further hydrolyzed to glucose, whereas mandelonitrile is hydrolyzed to benzaldehyde and hydrogen cyanide. Hydrogen cyanide in sufficient quantities (allowable daily intake: ~0.6 mg) causes cyanide poisoning (fatal oral dose: 0.6-1.5 mg/kg).”

Also, from the article on apricot kernels that Nora also linked (thank you Nora), there’s this little nugget of info:

“On average, bitter apricot kernels contain about 5% amygdalin and sweet kernels about 0.9% amygdalin. These values correspond to 0.3% and 0.05% of cyanide. Since a typical apricot kernel weighs 600 mg, bitter and sweet varieties contain respectively 1.8 and 0.3 mg of cyanide.”

The kernels that these assholes are selling are the sweet variety, so they do have less cyanide than bitter apricot kernels do. However, let’s run the numbers, shall we? One sweet apricot kernel contains approximately 0.3 mg of cyanide, which means that to get to the fatal oral dose of cyanide (0.6-1.6 mg/kg), one would have to eat between 2 and 5 kernels per kilogram of body weight. Now, admittedly, this would take some effort; I weigh about 84 kg, so a fatal dose of these would be between 168 and 420 kernels. These are 8 oz bags, or approximately 226 g, and one kernel weighs about 600 mg, which means there are around 376 kernels in an average bag. This is WELL within the lethal range for me, and I’m a pretty big guy; someone who weighs a lot less than me would have to eat a lot fewer kernels to get a lethal dose.

Let’s not mince words, folks; cyanide poisoning is fucking awful. Cyanide blocks an enzyme that your cells need in order to properly process oxygen. It basically causes you to suffocate on a cellular level. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?

And these things are legally for sale? In fucking HEALTH FOOD STORES?!? Can you imagine if a small child got into one of these bags? I can only hope these alternative health wingnuts buying these things are keeping them away from their kids.

Oh, what’s that? You’ll be okay as long as you don’t eat the whole bag? Well, I have unfortunate news for you. Cyanide is not like iocaine powder; you don’t build up an immunity to it by ingesting small amounts daily for years. It can still kill you, although in much more horrible ways than acute cyanide poisoning. From wiki: “Exposure to lower levels of cyanide over a long period results in increased blood cyanide levels, which can result in weakness and a variety of symptoms, including permanent paralysis, nervous lesions, hypothyroidism, and miscarriages. Other effects include mild liver and kidney damage.” Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?

Oh, and if you want a real treat, read the reviews on the product page above. Hoooooooly shit, people can fool themselves into thinking ANYTHING is good for them if it has the words “organic” and “natural” on the package, and if the seller hypes it up to be this AMAZING LONG-LOST SUPERFOOD OMG. Here’s some of the highlights, in case you don’t want to read them all for fear of losing too many brain cells (note that all of these quotes are from separate reviews):

“I eat these apricot kernels because of the B17 cancer fighting factor.” No such thing as B17, and amygdalin has been shown to be useless against cancer.

“I noticed that my energy is constant all day and I believe they are actually helping me to lose weight.” Chances are it’s whatever else you’re putting in your smoothie. Keep eating these long enough and I doubt you’ll have energy all day.

“I love them even more after researching all of the health properties!” Clearly you didn’t do any research outside of browsing a couple articles on fucking David Wolfe’s website or some shit.

This next one has three separate hilarious bits so I’ll quote all three parts together:
“I still am not sure what they do for me yet; however they are loaded with B17 which is said to be really good for certain health benefits.” 1/Well, that sounds promising. 2/Loaded with cyanide, yum! 3/“certain health benefits.” Not sure which ones, but a website said it, so it must be true!

“Too bad I can’t eat too many without lowering blood pressure too much.” I can only assume that this person is referring to the fact that your blood pressure drops to 0/0 when you’re dead.

“I like them…not too bitter, but enough so that I know I am getting what I need.” Because something being bitter is a great indication that it’s good for you, amirite? I mean, kale is great for you, and it’s bitter, so that must mean the bitterness is what makes it good for you!

“I have cancer and eat 5 kernels, 3 times a day.. I eat them with some food so I don’t end up with a stomach ache.” I would make a comment about how you should know better than to eat things that give you a stomach ache, but then again, this person could conceivably be on chemo, which also causes awful symptoms, so maybe they’re just conditioned to believe that things that make them feel horrible are actually helping cure them.

“I eat a few a day and I will hopefully see my blood pressure down next dr appt” …folks, please don’t eat poison instead of taking blood pressure medication. I know doctors tend to overprescribe pills, but COME THE FUCK ON.

“I’m trying to get off medication (over 30 years) and want to use natural food to help heal my body!” Which is an admirable goal, and certainly possible. But this is not the way to do it. You need to do your research into the foods you eat to try and heal yourself, and if you did the SLIGHTEST BIT OF RESEARCH you would have found that these things contain CYANIDE. Which absolutely WILL NOT heal your body.

“they are crunchy, aromatic, and slightly bitter, and numb the tip of my tongue when I chew on more than a few at a time.” HOW IS THIS NOT A GIANT RED FLAG HOLY FUCKING SHIT

“It is important to read the information about how many to consume per day as it is a medicinal food with great potential.” Great potential to kill you, yes. Medicinal food, not so much.

tl;dr Apricots are the devil’s nutsack, please don’t eat his testicles.

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mkalus
1 day ago
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W T F? Great going there USA and Wholefoods.
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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Math Education

4 Comments and 14 Shares

Hovertext: Until you teach someone calculus, they can't even walk finite distances. But they can get reallllllly close.


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Submissions are closing soon! Get your proposal in while there's time! 

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mkalus
2 days ago
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4 public comments
digdoug
1 day ago
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The hovertext made me 'lol'
Louisville, KY
mxm23
2 days ago
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OMG! The secret of the (North) American economy revealed! (And probably Europe and parts of Asia too.)
San Rafael, CA
gradualepiphany
2 days ago
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This explains our public school system.
Los Angeles, California, USA
CallMeWilliam
2 days ago
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This is my favorite and most common fallacy; that education directly drives actions. I wish that it were so.
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